If I Had My Child To Raise Again:
I would finger paint more and point the finger less. I would do less correcting and more connecting. I would take my eyes off my watch and watch with my eyes. I would care to know less and and know to care more. I would take more hikes and fly more kites. I would stop playing serious and seriously play. I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars. I would do more hugging and less tugging. I would be firm less often and affirm more often. I would build self-esteem first and the house later. I would teach less about the love of power and more about the power of love. -Diane Loomans

Playing The Field

I’m not much of a sports oriented kind of guy, but I recently noticed some similarities between playing Basketball and moving forward with an intention or goal we might want to accomplish. Achieving what we want in life, our goals and dreams, is a lot like playing basketball. When a player gets the ball and needs to get the ball up the court and into the basket (our intention or goal) he has to start right where he is. He or she has to be present and grounded. At some level of consciousness the player also knows that anything can happen between him and the goal and isn’t even sure if his journey up the court will achieve the outcome he desires. But he also knows that there is no chance of fulfilling his goal if he doesn’t take the first step. As the player moves up the court things begin to move very fast and he has to rely on his experience, instinct and the ability to let go and move with the spontaneous flow around him. Confidence in his skill helps him to make clear and quick movements. But of course very few things can be accomplished alone. As well as his own skills he also has others on his team that he can rely on to help get the ball up the court. To achieve our goals and intentions we need to be willing to accept help from others. In the end whether he makes the basket or not he has gained experience during the journey and is more prepared and skillful for the next goal. He has also made a few friends along the way.

So how do we create a plan to move toward our goals and dreams? First we need to create an intention, one that can shift and move with the changing nature of life. Next we need to ground ourselves, know where we are and our capacity. We need to be willing to take the first step and open to any fear or resistance that may arise. We need to be willing to accept help and support from others. We need to let go and move in a different direction when life seems to be pushing us in that direction. We may not always get what we originally wanted but if we are willing to be fluid and spontaneous we will surly be ok with whatever outcome arises and have fun doing it. There are infinite ways to any destination. Enjoy the ride.

Nature is the silent healer 

Take a walk in the woods and notice the natural flow around you, go out into the grass, take your shoes off and feel the ground below you, walk barefoot on the beach. There is an invisible healing power in the simple act of surrendering to nature. We can't explain it nor should we. Just know that you're supported. 

The Bodies Story

The story your mind is telling about an event is gone, it's the past, but the story your body is telling through sensation, emotion and movement is "now". Listen closely and allow the body to move and express itself however it needs. Surrender to this organic process, your bodies natural intelligence knows what to do.

Illuminating The Unconscious
When we sit and "stop" we have the capacity to see the unseen, the hidden unconscious becomes conscious.  Have you ever been in a crowded noisy room and tried to hear what's going on around you, it's not easy. But if everyone in the room became silent you would begin to hear many sounds in the room that you were unaware of. It's the same with natural meditation. Because your stopping and allowing everything to be as it is, your mind and body begin to settle naturally and you begin to notice thoughts, feelings and stories that you were previously unaware of. This is truly seeing and has the power to illuminate the darkest parts of ourselves as well as those parts of us that bring more joy and contentment into our lives.

We can begin to see how these unconscious experiences, that are usually below the surface, effect our every day lives and how we act and speak around others. We can see our urge to push away and hide from those things that we perceive to be unpleasant and grasp onto those experiences we want to keep. For most of us this judging and preferencing is happening below the surface and creates suffering for us. Why? Each time we judge something good or bad, right or wrong, pleasant or unpleasant we are creating an argument with the way things are. The tree does not hold on to its leaves when fall comes or yearn for them to return in the spring. There is a natural flow at play and we are part of the flow. 

The good news is that all we need to do to reenter the flow is stop and listen to what’s arising; to see clearly the unconscious stories and begin to open to the natural pendulation (the natural movement of contraction and expansion) of life. Then we can begin to rest as awareness and be comfortable in our bodies and in the present moment.

Natural Unfolding
To escape the illusion of being trapped we need only surrender to the natural power of awareness. Awareness is our greatest tool in the unfolding process. It illuminates all perception and helps us to see more clearly the truth of who we are.

Befriending Self
Many of us believe we need to get rid of the self or ego; that we need to destroy it to be free. But who is getting rid of or destroying? That's right, just another side of self, more ego. But what if we allowed the sense of self to run wild and free in the space of awareness. Instead of fighting this experience of self we simply befriend it. Our sense of self can even be useful in our process of being more fully present and alive. So the self can become part of our flow of experience until it's of no use, then it naturally dissolves on its own. The same way a rain cloud dissolves after its watered the land.

Illuminating The Unconscious 

When we sit and "stop" we have the capacity to see the unseen, the hidden unconscious becomes conscious.  Have you ever been in a crowded noisy room and tried to hear what's going on around you, it's not easy. But if everyone in the room became silent you would begin to hear many sounds in the room that you were unaware of. It's the same with natural meditation. Because your stopping and allowing everything to be as it is, your mind and body begin to settle naturally and you begin to notice thoughts, feelings and stories that you were previously unaware of. This is truly seeing and has the power to illuminate the darkest parts of ourselves. The great thing is that all we need to do is stop and listen.

Meditation Misconceptions 

I'm sure you've seen or herd the cd's or courses that say; "learn to meditate in three easy steps" or "buy this course and learn to be calm and serene in 30 minutes or less." While calm and serenity happens, it's not what meditation is about. Calm and serenity are effects of meditation, not the rule. It wouldn't be honest or authentic if I told you that meditation is about being calm. If you believe that meditation is about being calm, then every time you sit down to meditate and you experience a restless mind or unpleasant feelings you might think; "this is not working" or "I'm doing this wrong" and if this continues you might just give up, thinking; "this meditation thing doesn't work for me, I can't do it".

In truth, when we meditate we are allowing everything to be as it is without the need to change or resist anything. It is this kind of surrender that creates the "effect" of calm and serenity. When we allow everything to be as it is, our thoughts begin to thin out and our emotions and feelings freely flow without interference. At the same time, we are able to see more clearly the nature of mind and experience as it moves through our awareness.

Another misconception is that meditation has to be difficult or structured. While it's true that some schools of meditation are tightly structured and take part in practices that can seem quite difficult, this is only one view of meditation. In its simplest form, meditation is a way of resting as awareness. It helps us to see more clearly the arising and passing away of experience and to come home to the present moment and ourselves. There are many forms of meditation, from just sitting in nature to sequestering yourself in a cave for a year, but the foundation is still the same - simply being.

One last misconception is the belief that meditation takes away life's difficulties - it doesn't. What meditation does offer us is the capacity to meet life's challenges with openness, patience and compassion without being overwhelmed. We learn to pause before we react and create the space to work with what arises. It's like being on the shore and watching the storms pass by without being lost in the storm itself. There will always be challenges in life, how we meet them is the key.

There are certainly more misconceptions we haven't talked about, but that's enough for now. If you have any others you can think of or questions about meditation let me know.

Trust
Trust has an expanded, open quality to it. Trust is that authentic quality of awareness we notice when we are in the present moment with an experience, in a non-judgmental way. It is surrender without boundaries, self or a need to receive anything in return. Trust is the opposite of doubt. Today explore these two experiences. With kindness.

Presence 

Its not that being present is better than being lost in the future or in the past, it's that the present moment is where life happens. If we are lost in thinking we are missing what is true and authentic, what's right in front of us. A sunset, the sound of waves crashing, your children, the sensations in your body and all the subtitles and nuances of life, all arising "now". We can even include thoughts in our awareness of what's happening now. What are we missing when we are not present?

Relationship

As embodied humans we are in relationships from birth till death, with parents, teachers, other humans, our environment and so on. If we shut ourselves off from all relationships, because we feel it is too difficult, we become isolated and alone. We may even have difficulty having a relationship with ourselves. This is where we start, with our own relationship, loving who we are. Eventually we can move beyond the boundaries we create between me and you or I and them; boundless, unconditioned love.

A Magical Space

We can replace the shadow of our over stimulated, conditioned mind and emotional system with an open space of wisdom, acceptance and curiosity; a magical space of expansion and mystery.  This is the way we once were as children; everything was new, vibrant and exciting. This was before we were told what to fear, what to believe and not to believe. At some point we began to believe the mind stories that now limit us from doing anything that remind us of a painful or scary experience. If we continue to live in this limited way we only re-enforce our conditioning and continue to condition those around us, especially the young ones.

This doesn't mean that we ignore the feeling of danger, become reckless and do things that might be dangerous or unsafe - that's where the clarity of wisdom comes in handy. We know what's safe without being driven by fear.

We can notice our conditioning if we are paying attention. We might go for a walk in the woods with our kids or grand kids and feel very uneasy, saying to them; "don't do that", "be careful", "we should go back". All the while, not being able to experience this time fully and joyfully.

In these moments we can do three simple things. One, be aware of what is happening in your mind and body. Two, if there is a thought that is limiting you, let it go, surrender that thought. Third, surf all the emotions that are arising without needing them to be different or judging them. 

When we can meet a moment in this way and allow the thoughts and emotions to dissolve, we will feel expanded and fully open to experience whatever new adventure awaits us.